I try to look for a positive in everything.  Of course, sometimes before getting to the positive I've shed a few tears and freaked out a little.

This week, I went to get new car tags for my husband's pickup.  My husband is currently deployed in Iraq (no political statement, just a fact).  I received the new water bill and noticed it was a few dollars higher and wondered what was going on.  Well, I stepped into my back door from the garage, and got my answer.  There on the floor in my laundry, kitchen and pantry was standing water, about 3 inches.  So I walked into the living room and with each step, squish, squish, squish went my carpet.  So I headed into the master bedroom, and some squish although doesn't seem as bad as the living room.  So that same day a plumber came out and diagnosed the problem, a plastic fitting on my refrigerator which provided water to my water and ice maker.  At the same time the plumber was there, the water mitigation team came out.  They sucked up the water in the kitchen and set out two large dehumidifiers in the house.  The moisture content in the house had to be stabilized before any work can be done.  So my a/c is running at 78.

I had to give the water mitigation folks the key to the front door and the code to my alarm system.  They are licensed and bonded so I'm good with doing that.  So now a lock box will be put on the home.  I can enter through the garage so don't have a key to the lock box.

I learned whenever you will be away from your home for an extended period of time to turn the water off at the main.  This will mitigate the water damage because there will only be what is in the pipes and all.  If I had only known.

Of course in talking with the insurance company, I was quite freaked out.  My lower cabinets in the kitchen will need to be replaced, my living room carpet, my furniture, my husband's desk.  All just things...things which can be replaced.  No biggie.  Of course I had to let my husband know and he kind of freaked.  I told him don't worry or stress over this.  Everything will be okay.  Now mind you, I'm thinking am I going to be able to afford to fix all this.  My dad lent me my deductible, but there is some mold cleanup which I will have to cover.  My policy covers water damage but not mold.  However, I will get benefit in areas where we had water damage first and then mold.  Well, this is most of the stuff.

Okay, trying to stay positive and keep focused.  I am going to email the rear d commander to let them know what happened so in the future if any of our troops deploy they are sure to mention this to other families so hopefully no one else suffers this kind of loss.  Just another month or so until I find out what this does to my premium for next year.

What can you do though...it is what it is.  Things can be replaced.  All will be put right.

Mary

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and I find myself sadder with each passing day.  I've taken to watching John Edwards Crossing Over and bawling my eyes out.

I knew what a  presence my mom was and had, but I never anticipated it would hurt like this.  I know she wouldn't want me dwelling on it, I can almost hear her lecturing me now.  I have a 6 year old so I have to move on...but I struggle as my 6 year old has told me it hurts to remember.  I don't think she means it hurts to remember, I think it hurts that her Gammy isn't here.

Sometimes it is literally one day at a time.

Mary

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The last time my husband deployed with the 4th Infantry Division, he was aware when the unit came home they would be moving to Fort Carson, Colorado.  However, folks were given an option of moving or staying at Fort Hood, Texas.  We had been told when he deployed this time, a similar option would be available.  Once again we find ourselves in a situation where his unit is set to move to Fort Carson, Colorado when he returns.  Many of you may think what a great opportunity, but there are other factors at play which make it not so great.

My father is 81 years old.  My mother passed away November 20, 2007.  My mother-in-law passed away December 30, 2007.  I told my husband if the Army sends him to Fort Carson, Colorado, I cannot go with you.  I know in my heart that if I leave Texas with my daughter, my father will grieve himself to death.  I will not be responsible for that.  My dad recently shared he'd been having chest pains since my mom passed away.  Something he didn't tell us kids.  Turns out it was anxiety and he's on some medications to deal with that.

My dad helps us out by taking my child to school in the mornings and picking her up in the afternoons.  They are together for 2 hours in the afternoon before I come home.  When I've had to work the gate at football games, he's picked my daughter up so she didn't have to stay.  This is Texas after all...and football weather in Texas really isn't what others may think football weather is supposed to be.

So we've agreed as long as my dad is alive, I wouldn't be moving.  However, at the same time, I don't want to split up my family.  It's a two edged sword.  So our options are hopefully promotion.  If my husband can get to his next rank, we have the option of staying in Texas.  Other than that, things don't look so good.  We're working on the latter...but he's maxed out a lot of things and the only thing left is education, college.  He's planning on taking FEMA courses which can be evaluated to give someone an associates in Emergency Management.  Just not sure he can do it in time.

Just leaves you a little down.

Mary

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Last year this time, my husband was leaving on his way to school at Aberdeen Proving Ground in Maryland.  He had been there a month when I called him to say we were going to the emergency room with my mom.  My mom would never return to her home again from that hospitalization.  The whole time period beginning with her hospitalization taught me to keep things in perspective.

On July 3, 2007, my mom's right leg was amputated just above the ankle.  My mom wasn't a diabetic.  She had peripheral vascular disease.  She also had rheumatoid arthritis and to treat it she had been on steroids for a long time.  It's a double edge sword.  The steroids help with pain management for the RA but long time use makes it difficult to put someone under anasthesia.  Just after my mom's surgery, I learned our home had been "broken into".  I use that in quotes because both myself and the cops believe someone who had access to our home actually stole from us.  They took us for about $30,000 of jewelry, electronics, games, and dvds.  Given everything going on with my mom, I told my husband to take the drive down through Kentucky and stop off to see his mom on the way home.  I'm glad I insisted he do that.

My mom went from the hospital to rehab at another hospital.  Medicare would only pay for so many days there.  She opted to go to an assisted nursing facility for more therapy.  We used this time to redesign my parents home to make it wheelchair accessible.  Little did we know at the time, that mom would never see the improvements in the house.

My mom was in assisted living receiving theraphy until October.  In October, she was reclassified as she was no longer getting therapy services.  At that point, my dad started paying for her to be there.  Her meds were still being covered, but he had to pay for her to continue to be there.  It was at this time that mom began showing signs of dementia.  Some people relate this with craziness, but I learned that isn't what it is at all.  Mom was present in her life, she was just present at another time...a time before all of us kids existed.  There were moments when she knew us, and there were times we could sense her frustration at calling us by her siblings names or cousins names and us correcting her...because she could tell from looking at us we were related.  I would go every day to the nursing home...and on weekends, I was with my husband because we knew a deployment was looming.  It is a blessing to give your time to a parent who did so much for all of us.  My only regret is that I did not have more time to give to my mom.

My husband, daughter, and I decided to go see his mom over Thanksgiving.  We went and while there were told hospice had seen my mom and had said she was nearing the end of her journey.  While still at my husband's mom's, we received a phone call saying hospice had said there was about 24 hours.  While attempting to get home, we got another call that she had passed away.  We took our time getting back, knowing that there would be a different good-bye.  We got home and said our good-byes.  Thanksgiving was bittersweet, all our family was there, together in one place, except for mom.  There was a void.

My mom entered her eternal rest on November 20, 2007.  My husband was home with us for Christmas and his mom was in the hospital.  She had told him she was to go home on New Years Eve.  So he intended to call her on New Years Eve.  I had asked him on the 30th about calling her, he told me he would call tomorrow.  If you can learn one thing from us, it is don't put off until tomorrow the things you can do today.  Sam's mother passed away late in the evening of December 30, 2007 just 40 days after we lost my mom.

We went to Louisville for her service.  When Sam's step-father passed away he had told my niece, Natalie, to get ready to take care of her babies.  When Sam's mom passed away, she knew Natalie was having boys.  Those boys made their appearance in the world on April 25, 2008.

My husband left on his third deployment to Iraq the middle of March.  This weekend (well actually all the time, but especially this weekend) my thoughts are so strongly with him and his fellow brothers and sisters in service.  The sacrifices they make, the time they are called to spend away from family, the conditions they exist in while I am here safe, sound and comfortable at home aren't lost on me.  Regardless of how you feel about our being in Iraq, please don't undermine the sacrifices of those brave men and women.

I learned to use the camcorder and have some lovely footage of our daughter's kindergarten graduation.

Take nothing for granted, tomorrow isn't promised to any of us.  Leave nothing unspoken.  Spend your time wisely.  Time wasted can't be gotten back.

Peace and blessings,

Mary Louise Lawhorn

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